I grew up feeling I was fated to be satan’s bride

Crazy you might say…but as you read through my testimony you will understand how I came up with that horrible idea. Thanks to God for Bro Eli, I was saved from satan’s claws

By Maya Crisol Buan

If I were to compare my life story with most people, I would say, it would most probably fall under those of so called “the few and the chosen”, unfortunately I wasn’t referring to that in a positive way.

I am actually reluctant to give away too many details in this story, for reasons that my life has been filled with shameful memories…so please bear with me if I may seem a tad reserved with details.

It all started when my mother who was an actress got herself into a messed up life. She married an untamed rich guy and bore him three children. She, being untamed herself, eventually grew very unhappy with him and his rich family as he grew more hostile and cold to her. Eventually she had an affair with another man, a journalist. She got pregnant so her husband threw her out of his, err…his momma’s house where they lived all throughout their short lived marriage made in hell, claiming that that baby in her belly can’t be his child. Next phase of her life, she lives with her journalist.

They lived as a couple, and my mother hasn’t changed. Even in her whale sized preggy belly she still manages to squeeze herself in the playing area whenever she and her friends have concerto (mahjong) which was most probably every day. Her journalist would often have to lock her up inside their apartment just to keep her from spending the whole day with her friends outside otherwise he would still have to fetch her with a gun all the time. My mother was that stubborn.

The journalist, who would turn out to be my father, was also already a family man, separated from his real wife and children. He and my mom were a perfect couple indeed. So then on March 5, 1970, at exactly 1:20pm I was brought out to this world.

Not long after that, events became worse. My father had to hide because of Martial Law. My mother was left alone with me while he was gone. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mother became ill with leprosy. So now it was her time to hide herself away from the rest of the world including her journalist. But not without me of course.

So she again was thrown out from the world as she knew it. First, we lived in a hospital at Caloocan where I saw a vision of the devil himself.

I was four years old then. I slept on the floor with my yaya besides my Mom’s bed. I suddenly awoke and there I saw it – a huge shadow hovering over me. I knew it was a demon at once because it had two horns! I screamed and woke everyone up and the shadow was gone.

Strange, but I think that was when I just started living out my life. It was when I started storing memories in my head, and before then, all seemed vague.

Other strange and unfortunate events followed. My yaya made a failed attempt to commit suicide. We were once again forced to leave the hospital for financial reasons even though my mom’s illness still showed no signs of recovery. Then we lived like hermits in a remote place in Binangonan, Rizal.

Like Hermits I said? Nope, too bad for me, I was the one who had to face the world in my mom’s behalf. At a very tender age, already I was the one who had to beg my aunts and my father for financial support. I had to lie for my mom every time she needed extra cash. In my world outside our lanky, snake infested miserable abode, I had to bully the world alone.

My mother grew more emotionally unstable as her illness worsened. I became her shock absorber. Every day I had to endure the stench of her rotting flesh, listen to her demented counsels, put up with her sickening tantrums…suffer physical and verbal abuse! I cursed my life, I hated her, I hated everyone, I hated the world.

God? No, I could never hate God. I was often mad at Him yet I feared Him. I believed in His existence yet I didn’t understand God at all. I blamed everything on the world, and I also blamed it on God because I couldn’t understand how He, the most powerful Being, allowed me to be brought out to this cruel and sickening world…I was convinced I was one of God’s greatest mistake. I was ignorant and arrogant then.

By the way, my mother was a catholic and a spiritualist. She practiced spiritualism. She kept an Ouija board. She had a huge book which she calls Bible but which I never saw her read aside from chanting with the book while hovering over me whenever I was sick.

My mother made me go to church every Sunday. She was happy to know that I also took time praying to the groto. She even made me memorize all of the catholic prayers and we did rosary every 6pm.

My mother kept a frightening altar – three figurines in all: one of the Virgin Mary’s, one of the Christ the King’s and a headless Sto. Niño. It was right inside my bedroom.

Even though I went to our chapel, which, strange enough was called Sto. Nino Chapel, and pray to the groto every time I had the chance…I can’t help but feel creeped out every time I would accidentally lay eyes on my mom’s altar. I say accidentally, because I never felt comfortable looking at it. I avoided looking at it as much as possible.

Stranger things have happened to me but I find it useless to narrate it all anymore since I am sure you often see such experiences on paranormal movies.

To cut my long story short…
I grew up pretty attractive. My father became obsessed with me since he molested me when I was 10, attempted to rape me when I was 17, henceforth, he never gave up on his perverted ideas which he claimed “Biblical” until the day he died.

My mom died in 1989 and I was left alone at eighteen, got married, and had children. Got physically and verbally abused by my husband and my husband’s family.

In 1990, I had an unexplainable urge to read the Bible, and I got so engrossed I felt as if I was reading “Noli Me Tangere”, which by the way was one book I considered worth reading. I actually finished reading the whole Bible in one sitting! But of course I read it just as I would read any other Bestselling Novels.

Anyway, what struck me most were the verses about how graven images are abominable to God. From then on, I considered myself without a religion. I haven’t heard of Ang Dating Daan or Bro. Eli then.

Soon after, I left my husband and brought all my children with me. I entered prostitution in 1994 at age 24 at an exclusive Men’s Club, raised my children with the money I earned from selling my body. I tried drugs and soon became an alcoholic, eventually progressing to being a suicidal psycho.

Through all that, I have always been guilt stricken. Behind all that, there’s a light deep inside me that kept me from being totally corrupted. It’s hard to explain and too lengthy to go on with details but most people who knew me and even I myself, was baffled at how a good heart inside me was kept intact.

You see, although I was already living a high lifestyle doing dirty job, I never really became greedy for money, which has set me apart from the rest of my colleagues…which was also why I was bound to fail in my chosen career.

All the money I get, I give for my children’s comfort.  Despite my wretched job, my urge to help everyone in need, even strangers, was stronger than ever. Yet all my attempts to save for the future or invest in something, to secure our future so I could finally stop working live a decent life, failed.

In 2000 my husband filed for annulment because he wanted to remarry a born-again woman. By 2002 her new wife flew to Japan and left him to see through her one son out of wedlock and her one son with my husband. Right after she left, my husband made attempts to get back to me, saying he would again file an annulment and remarry me. I refused because I feared him so much and also because he already has a son with his new wife. I made an oath never to ruin any family’s life.

In 2006, at age 36 my husband succumbed to an illness. His wife came home just in time for his death. Naturally his new wife took over all his properties and just months after his cremation she renamed my husband’s Hardware Store after her Japanese boyfriend’s name. My children were left with a measly 700 pesos each month until they reach 21 years in age.

In the same year, on one of my intoxicated moments while watching TV, I accidentally saw Bro. Eli Soriano for the first time. I was shocked when I heard him boldly uttered the word,”Gago,” (Fool!). I decided right there and then that I liked his style, I thought… this Preacher is Cool!

I have always considered bold and brave people cool. Hypocrites are uncool. I would watch him often whenever I was at home, although I barely recalled doing that because I was always drunk. It was only that my sons told me years later.

One night I decided I am better off dead and that my children would be better off without a shameful mom. I was already 36 years old and still in prostitution, no life savings; I was just too tired and too frustrated to go on. I was succumbing in self loathe, self pity and anger. The hundred plus dark poems I wrote all through out that year can attest to all my agonizing torments each and every waking hour of my life.

That very night I notified my Aunts in the states about my plan through letter via airmail! (It’s because all I have with me is their home address in California, I didn’t even know their full names). I asked them to take responsibility for my children.

While writing my suicide note, I was watching Ang Dating Daan program but I wasn’t really absorbing the things Bro. Eli was saying because I was heavily intoxicated that night. Still, I just kept on watching…I don’t know but I felt a certain calmness just watching his program. Then suddenly their contact number began scrolling on the screen, and I contacted it immediately. I was crying and I just asked where their nearest church from my place was. And I asked other things which I could not recall afterwards.

The next days were maddening, excruciating…I was about to conclude my tragic life…tragically! What a fitting end.

A week or so after, surprisingly and for the first time, my aunts called me on the phone and were very shocked upon knowing all the things I had gone through alone. Then they told me that I need not work anymore, and that they would support my children’s education.

I couldn’t believe my ears!…I have long prayed for this day, to be saved from my wretched job. I have always wanted to quit working, but I couldn’t, because I had no other option. I wanted to give my children a comfortable life – the life I never had.  And I did that well until nothing was left of me, just a tattered soul.I felt so dead inside ….. But now God has finally heard me! After all those years in darkness, God is now going to save me! My heart was screaming in joy!

That day was truly unexpected. Never in my wildest dreams did I see that coming. It was a feeling of total liberation. It was more than like winning in a lottery!

Since then, I stayed home taking care of my kids and all I did was study the Scriptures and watch Ang Dating Daan. I never missed an episode. I even leave the TV on while I sleep. My nightmares and my drinking habit ceased altogether. I have never been more peaceful than before. I knew our Father in heaven has forgiven me! He showed me mercy!

It made me so happy to know someone like Bro. Eli, when before him I thought I was alone in all my beliefs…I thought I was strange, I didn’t think like the rest of the world did and because of that I was miserable, lost and lonely. But God has confirmed my convictions through Bro. Eli; He even taught me new and wonderful things through him.

Because of God through Bro. Eli, I learned humility and inside me grew a strong feeling of gratefulness and trust in our Creator.

I thank God for sending Bro. Eli to me. Often I would even think of Bro. Eli as the Elijah of my life. Last June 12 2008, I was baptized in The Church of God.

To God Be the Glory Forever and Ever Through Christ Jesus our Lord!

This entry was posted in Experience leading to salvation, God's word as healer, heart/mind opened, Jeremiad, moment of decision, New truth, salvation of God, Search for truth, transformation, True happiness, True preacher, True religion, ungodly practices, work of salvation and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to I grew up feeling I was fated to be satan’s bride

  1. I am awed by God’s mercy and how His words made a turn-around for the life of this girl.

    I am awed by how God’s words brought healing into her home.

    I found this girl defending her faith in many discussion forums. I asked her to write how she came to know the truth. This is her testimony.

    Maya, carry on!

  2. celynyen says:

    I can’t help myself but cry while reading this heart-warming story. In one way or another, I can relate.

    “I couldn’t believe my ears!…I have long prayed for this day, to be saved from my wretched job. I have always wanted to quit working, but I couldn’t, because I had no other option. I wanted to give my children a comfortable life – the life I never had. And I did that well until nothing was left of me, just a tattered soul.I felt so dead inside ….. But now God has finally heard me! After all those years in darkness, God is now going to save me! My heart was screaming in joy!” – This point in the story that I got my teary eyed.

    I am very glad hearing testimonials like this. We can witness how God works on our lives. From almost a deadly man to a new creation, It was really great. Thanks be to God!

  3. enyasirch says:

    Truly God is merciful and Most Kind. Thanks to God you are called.

    God bless!

  4. Hi Sis. Maya,

    Upon reading your story Bro. Eli and Bro Daniel’s statement all came in to me, “Go back to basics… as it was written in Psalms 100:5 – For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.”

    I feel good when I read something wonderful.

    God bless,
    Sis. Alsie

  5. I am basically bawling my eyes out. The story highlighted God’s loving kindness.

    This is something to be proud of, Christians have colorful stories to tell. I remembered Bro. Eli Soriano saying, “A Christian’s life is one of the greatest stories on earth.”

  6. Celine says:

    What a life!
    I admire you for your strong character. But, I thank God, He saved you in the most appointed time.
    I can’t think of anything yet to say to you now, I am dumbstruck reading your previous life.

    This is what I can say to you: My joining the Church, is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.
    Not in terms of material things, for I am almost without materially, but I am full of hope and wisdom overflowing because of the true Prophet sent by God, Brother Eliseo Soriano.

    I was blinded by the material things of this world before, Brother Eli help me see, the path toward eternity.

    We will pray together, that we will endure till the end.

    Thanks be to God.

  7. maya says:

    Joh 11:10 But if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him.

    God Bless Us All. Thank you brothers and sisters for reading and posting comments. May this story inspire you all.

  8. Christine says:

    sis. Maya,

    Thanks be to GOD for sharing your story to us. It is a tear jerker indeed. Thank GOD that HE did not leave you during the time when you are going through a difficult situation. What you have gone through all your life made you strong and brought out a mighty fighter in you. I cannot blame you for trying to commit suicide at some point in your life (but not that i am commending you for that of course)considering the situation and the experiences that you already have gone through. Yes indeed, just like you i am grateful to GOD that HE love us so much that HE did not forsake us during the time when we needed HIM most. And also just like you, i am thankful to GOD that HE has sent Bro. Eli to us to made HIS words, doctrines and everlasting love made known to us. I hope and i pray that you will continue walking on the path that HE has commanded us to walk on. And i am glad that eventhough i do not know you personally nor your face, i know that as i stay inside the Church and sojourn in this world there is someone like you, a brave soul who is walking with me towards perfection. Thanks be to GOD and may GOD continue to shower HIS love to us.

  9. joyce ivy says:

    This story shows how God’s mighty hands work to save those who believe and have faith in Him.

    Surely, God’s grace is everlasting….!

  10. Pooch says:

    What an inspirational story…Thank the Lord that you have found the right path..The path to righteousness.
    (Psa 23:1 SPV) Ang mabuting pastol
    Ang Panginoon ang aking pastol, di ako kukulangin sa anuman.

  11. Aside from Christ, God also sends preachers to be our savior from sins (James 5:19-20).

    Listening to the words of God through his chosen preacher of our time, Bro. Eli Soriano is really life changing. We can easily read the engrafted words of God in the hearts of Christians by looking how holy their life is despite the fact that they came from doing sinful acts because of misguidance. God’s mercy really is at work in our time.

    May the Lord continue to open the eyes of people blinded by money, greed and false religion. I am always inspired to hear and read testimonies like this specially when I saw people receiving baptism each friday.

    To God Be The Glory!

  12. Micah Abat says:

    Mar 2:17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

    This testimony boldly testifies the merciful heart of our God Almighty.

    I was baptized on the same day, just a different year (June 12, 2009)!

    • maya says:

      Oops did I say I was baptized June 12 2008? My mistake, it was June 12, 2009!
      We have the same birth day in spirit Sis =)

      • Micah Abat says:

        ^_^ so kabirthday celebrant pala kita.

        Awa ng Dios makapanatili tayong lahat na magkakapatid sa Espirito hanggang sa wakas.

        Godbless Sis. Maya.

  13. Celine says:

    When you said the your story inspires us all, for me its an understatement.

    For somebody to open her life to the public without reservation, and a very “strange life” if I may say so; it just takes courage and acceptance of the whole.

    I can say you are a true person, and God for sure has seen that in your heart. For the true character of a person shows in how she accepts her self.

    I do not know you in person, but I admire you and I congratulate you for being with us now. You will never regret it. It is not a high profile life, you may have known that
    by now, in fact it is a very low profile life, always looking up waiting for some hands to guide us.

    The hands to grip are plenty. It is up to us to reach out and hold on tight.

    May the good Lord bless you and your love ones.

  14. caroline says:

    To God be the Glory. Hold tight to your faith.I’m proud of u.

  15. caroline says:

    Psalms 12:6 The promises of the Lord can be trusted; they are as genuine as silver refined seven times in the furnace.

    May the good Lord Bless u.

  16. janraethessaly says:

    Good day…Thanks to God for Bro. Eli…sa Dios lahat ng karangalan at kapurihan…

  17. pangyaw says:

    very brave woman…
    Your very courageous telling your story to the world..
    A very inspiring one…
    I am very much inspired of your story.
    You remind me of a sister who experienced cruelty in her life also but like you she was able to survive with God’s help.
    Really God is so amazing that He saves us in an exact moment of our life.

  18. net says:

    Hi Maya,

    I just stumbled into this testimony. I just want to share with you my pride and joy knowing things worked out for you.

    I silently hoped it will but didn’t have a clue how things will turn out. Knowing this brings me joy.

    I have no doubt God had something to do with it..and probably a whole lot..
    More than that, your story is also a testimony of the indomitable human spirit that simply refuses to give up and accept defeat. Inspite overwhelming obstacles, there is a goodness that remains intact and cannot be crushed by the forces of evil. And I think that is what makes your life story truly remarkable.

    I don’t think it is in the Bible but I believe in the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.” I guess it was also filled with sacrifices and struggles which led you to where you are now. There is no single event or overnight transformation that can be attributed to it.

    For many of us, the redemption and search for peace and true happiness is a constant struggle than continues to remain elusive.

    Thank you for your sharing. You have an uncommon gift of writing where you boldness and braveness shines through. It moves and touches people, rekindles their hope, reaffirms their faith.

    I hope you continue writing and sharing – drawing from your unique set of experiences.

    May you continue to stay within His grace. I wish you well.

  19. it’s true that God changes lives when you recognize His power, just the same thing He did to us.

  20. hi! sis.

    your story realy inspires most. Hope I could also be as strong as you. Thanks be to GOD for sharing your wonderful story. May we all be worthty in His goodness and may HE shows mercy on us.

    Again thanks be to GOD!

  21. Eldz says:

    What a remarkable story, showing how great and merciful our GOD is! May the LORD bless you and keep you sis. Thanks be to GOD and to GOD be the glory!

  22. maila quita says:

    Reading the whole story and the posts following it, I can picture a feast and rejoicing on the 12th of June 2009 way, way up there in heaven…

  23. eryk says:

    Thanks be to GOD,mang hawak lang po tayo ng matibay sa aral ng DIOS…tuloy lang po hanngang sa matapos po natin ang ating takbuhin! Ingatan po nawa kayo ng PANGINOON!

  24. sis kai says:

    “Despite my wretched job, my urge to help everyone in need, even strangers, was stronger than ever. Yet all my attempts to save for the future or invest in something, to secure our future so I could finally stop working live a decent life, failed.”

    I can totally relate to this, siguro ganyan talaga kapag anak ka ng Dios, laging may awa sa puso, kahit nahihirapan kana yung kapakanan pa rin ng iba inaalala mo. Parang si bro ELi and bro Daniel. I think this is what each brethren has in common. I cried my eyes out upon reading your testimony. To God be the Glory. Salamat sa Dios sa pagshare mo nito kapatid. kaka inspire talaga. TT

  25. manny says:

    Ang manatili at matiis hangang wakas ang syang maliligtas. Manghawak tayo sa aral mga kapatid. Sana loobin makasabay ako sa Banal na hapunan.mamaya.

    Long live Bro. Eli and Bro. Daniel!

    Thanks be to GOD

  26. grabe! galing!
    From all the things that happened to you…
    You are really a brave woman..
    Thanks be unto God that you knew the truth!

    Thanks be unto God!
    God is always there, God is always in perfect timing, God is really great!!!

  27. fredwhil says:

    very inspiring story… thanks God, sis. Maya, He made you strong person. i can’t stop my tears to fell down while reading your story, i feel it in my heart because in some or the other way we have common problem in life, but not as big as what you overcome in your life. Thanks be to God who understand us in everything…

  28. Bobby says:

    Hi Sis,

    Your life’s story inspires many. May you continue to “write” your story in faith – in God and in the His one true church which is in the bible, which is preached by Bro. Eli Soriano and Kuya Daniel Razon.

    Hold strong and fast as we journey together as a people, God’s people. Expect more trials (and blessings) ahead. May victory be ours in the end that we may lay claim to God’s promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

    To God be the Glory forever.

  29. thomjones says:

    It’s an inspiring story!

    You can read in this testimony how dark the life she led before, but through the mercy of God. Bro. Eli was sent to us to drive out the dark.

    Thanks be to our almighty God for all the unspeakable gift!


  30. marc andrew atienza says:

    galing ng Dios talaga! Perfect talaga timing niya!

  31. Pingback: 2010 in review « Steward Secrets of God

  32. galing po im so amazed, God really works in mysterious ways

  33. gerard r. castro says:

    I can read your Life Story tirelessly, over & over again, it inspired me a lot. Before I was baptized from the Church, I thought I was the worst person in the world! I just realized how merciful God is to have called all of us sinners & gave us hope and a new life at that. To God be the Glory forever.

  34. nikkiability says:

    This story is amazing! The chain of events are incredibly stitched altogether. Thanks be to GOD for saving us!

  35. tupe says:

    goosebumps and teary eyes while reading. Thanks be to God!

  36. erhynireh says:

    It’s pretty amazing how you survived the kind of life that you’ve had before. You are really a strong person and God is with you all along He just saved you in a perfect timing. I know you are in peace now and have great joy n your heart. God bless! Very inspiring story.

  37. grabe naiyak ako.
    Salamat ng marami sa Dios at sinugo nya ang kapatid na Eli sa atin.
    To God be the Glory!.

  38. Psa 1:1 Mapalad ang tao na hindi lumalakad sa payo ng masama, ni tumatayo man sa daan ng mga makasalanan, ni nauupo man sa upuan ng mga manglilibak.
    Psa 1:2 Kundi ang kaniyang kasayahan ay nasa kautusan ng Panginoon; at sa kautusan niya nagbubulaybulay siya araw at gabi.
    Psa 1:3 At siya’y magiging parang punong kahoy na itinanim sa siping ng mga agos ng tubig, na nagbubunga sa kaniyang kapanahunan, ang kaniyang dahon nama’y hindi malalanta; at anumang kaniyang gawin ay giginhawa.

  39. yakan56 says:

    Kung pwede sana Sis Maya maishare ko sa facebook yung story mo. Kung papayag ka sana. Ibig ko sana mabasa din ng mga kaibigan ko ito.
    Very inspiring. Inulit ulit kong basahin.ssD

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s